The Tics Go To School

Ugh.

It finally happened.  Someone at school noticed and commented on Gerry's tics, and he came home all upset about it.

I've asked his teach numerous times, and she always says that his tics aren't noticeable in the classroom until it's time to go home in the afternoon (which doesn't surprise me, because Gerry has always worried that something will go wrong in the afternoon and he'll be stuck at school and won't make it home).  I pack his lunch everyday, all of his favorite foods.  But when I empty his lunch box in the afternoon there's never more than two bites out of his sandwich and maybe a few bites of fruit missing.  Every time I ask about it, he just says "I didn't have time to eat."  All these weeks, I've just assumed that he's been too busy talking during lunch to actually eat it.

Turns out, he's been too busy ticking to eat.

Poor kid's been holding it all in so well in the classroom that he "lets it go" a bit in the noisy lunchroom.  Which would be totally fine, except that his newest vocal tic is a bit...a lot...annoying.  And very noticeable.  Have you ever seen those YouTube videos with the goats that scream?  "Meeehhhh!  Maahhhh!"  Over and over again.  THAT'S the newest tic.  And he has no volume control with it, it is always done loudly and repeatedly until the "urge" leaves his body.  His quite literally cannot stop himself from doing it.  He can't do it quietly, he can't do it just once.

Now, I've heard this particular tic.  In fact, the first couple times before I realized it was a tic and not him being a jerk I yelled at him to knock it off.  It's loud, it's annoying, it's completely inappropriate in most social situations.  Unfortunately, it's also the one he can't suppress in the cafeteria.

So.  He sits there day after day making this crazy-ass noise while the other kids are trying to eat their lunch.  And today one of those kids followed him into the bathroom at lunch and told him that he's annoying and that his friend wants to kill him (Gerry).

When he came home and told me, I almost said "Tell me this kid's name and I'll deal with the little asshole".  But another part of me was like, "You know what?  That's a super pain in the ass sound to have to listen to at lunch time and I kind of get kids being annoyed enough to tell him about it."  They're kids.  They don't know that this is something he can't control and that he's not actually trying to ruin their lunch.  They don't know any better.  And that's my fault.

I sat Gerry down that afternoon and talked to him a bit more about TS and what this means for him.  Up to this point, I don't think we'd ever really sat him (or Bailey and Lincoln) down and said Ok, here's what's going on and here's what we're all going to do about it.  So we talked.  I told him that it's ok to stand up for himself and to tell people "I do this because I have Tourette Syndrome and I can't help it."  People aren't going to understand.  They're going to be annoyed and even angered by him and his tics.  But the more he talks about it and normalizes it, the more (I'm hoping) other people will be accepting of it and of him.  As he gets older, we can explain in more grown-up terms about his tics but for now I just want him to be able to say "I have TS and I can't help it."  Bailey, too.  I know it sometimes embarrasses her, but I also know that when push comes to shove she'll stand up for her brother and she won't let people pick on him.  She's much stronger than he is in social situations, and I'm so thankful to have her there for him at school.

The bathroom incident is only the first of many similar incidents that I'm sure Gerry will deal with throughout his school career.  Better to teach him to advocate for himself now so that it becomes second nature to him down the road.